Can you marry someone you don’t love just to receive favours from their family?

People marry for different reasons, but marriage counsellors have advised that if there is no love between intending couples, it is better they dissolve the relationship and avoid tying the nuptial knot. However, experiences have shown that some people still go ahead to marry themselves even when they knew they didn’t love themselves—just to achieve their different motives.

Saturday PUNCH asked some people whether they could marry someone they didn’t love (who are, however, from rich homes) just to receive favours from their families

That marriage may not last

Kolawole Rachael

If you marry someone with this kind of mindset, I bet that in no time, you will go your separate ways. That’s why it’s always best to love the person first and then let other considerations follow. For me, I won’t marry a man just because his parents are rich. I must love him and vice-versa or else we’ll eventually break up. A lady should know how to present herself in such a way that a man will not take her for granted and make her think that without him, there would be no her. We must aspire to be success-oriented too and create our own future; if that happens, one would not be looking for a rich dude to marry by all means. If it happens, it’ll just be a plus.

Who wants to marry nobodies?

Ray Fakuade

The relationship will end up a failure if I marry her only to get favours from her family. Sooner or later, my intention will be revealed and they would chase me from their family. So, who loses in the end? The point I’m driving at is that I still have to love the lady even if my intention is to receive such favours. Meanwhile, there’s nothing wrong in pairing with a family that you know could drive you further in life. Who wants to associate with nobodies? If the family could help me achieve great things in life by marrying their daughter, why wouldn’t I? That’s not downgrading myself, but making a smart connection. All the same, like I said, I will love the lady truly and not use her for a selfish agenda.

I don’t have that mindset

Moradeke Abiodun

Poverty reasoning at work! Why do I need to marry a man just because his family is rich? I have no thought of such in my life because I am determined to make it and make men pursue me rather than looking for a rich man that I can marry. By the way, it’s always good to have a man who has more vision than money. The money can fly away but his ideas cannot. That’s the best man to be with and that’s my mindset.

That’s looking down on myself

Femi Akintola

No, I won’t marry a lady who is from a rich home because of their money. I am not poor and even if I were, I wouldn’t remain so all my life. That’s what is called ‘downgrading’ oneself. It is inferiority complex at display – thinking that I cannot make it in life if I don’t marry a rich lady. It’s a poverty and stinking mentality to me. It’s like looking down on myself and thinking I wouldn’t make it. As a matter of fact, I love modest homes and I’d probably marry a lady from one of such.

If he’s responsible, I don’t care if he’s poor or rich

Dorgu Matilda

It’s only ladies who are afraid of their future that would run after rich men. I am glad to tell you that I am not one of such. Personally, I don’t look at a man’s wallet to judge whether he’s the right one for me to choose; rather, I will look for what’s in his heart and brain. If I know he’s got good stuffs up there, I can marry him. Meanwhile, I’m not saying I cannot marry a rich man, but not because of what he possesses. He must truly love me and must be a man of good intentions. So if a man is responsible, I wouldn’t really care whether he comes from a rich or poor family.

I’ll work hard to succeed

Akpaki Meshach

There is no better joy a man would derive than being a ‘man’ – someone who can stand bold in the midst of people and do whatever he wants. That’s the quality of a successful man. And that’s what I want to be. I don’t want to be the type that a woman could lord over because of financial status. If I were poor, I would work hard to succeed and not depend on my rich wife’s family to run things.

I don’t plan to marry only because of money

Margaret Akande

Marrying a man so as to get favours from his family is not worth it. When an atom of selfishness is introduced into a relationship, it will not succeed. If the expectations are not met, it could lead to having extra-marital affairs and in the process ruin the union. I can marry any man of purpose, and if he’s rich, thank God. If he’s not, we’ll develop together and find a path to achieve a glorious future together, that’s all. I am not planning marriage with a man just to get favours from his family. That’s called having a low self-perception.

I could marry her, but not because of her status

Oluwatoyin Amuda

There’s nothing wrong in marrying someone from a rich home. I can marry her, but not because I want to receive favours from the family. If there is no love between us, sooner or later, we will keep fighting and the marriage will crash. That’s not what I want for my life. If the family is good and the lady is awesome, there will be no reason not to marry her. The only hindrance to marrying such a lady is if I suspect that the family could intrude into our personal lives when we marry – like some rich families do. They still don’t want to let go of their daughters and in the process lord their decisions over the poor husbands.

I’m not a gold digger

Loveth Ekpo

Since I am not a gold digger, I wouldn’t go into such relationship. It’s one-sided and wouldn’t work. Only lazy women seek such opportunities, but the bold ones go all out to create their own great lives with or without the support of men. That’s who I want to be—the woman who makes no excuses in being who she wants to be. If I marry the man because of my selfish purpose, our marriage wouldn’t be successful. We would quarrel over small issues and he could even insult me during one of such moments that I was only attracted to his wealth. What would I say to defend myself? I’ll lose his family’s respect. But if I were successful too, that wouldn’t happen.

You can marry a poor person and still don’t love her

Esueya Adulphus

It is not the rich or poor status of the family of the woman that would determine my future. Being poor doesn’t mean being nice and being rich doesn’t mean being proud. So, in my opinion, the only thing I’d look for is the attitude of the lady. If she’s good and we’re compatible in many ways, we’ll be good to marry. Fact is, one can marry a poor person and still doesn’t love her. Marriages of poor people also break up. In summary, if we both love each other, I’ll marry her, not because of any expectation from her family, but just for love’s sake.

Source: PUNCH