A man and his nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died.
The funeral company told the man that it would cost $45,000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem.
The husband said, “Ship her home.”
Shocked, the undertaker asked, “But sir, why don’t you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money?”
To which the husband replied, “A long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead….I can’t take THAT RISK!”
Churches should please endeavour to mount projectors during service, so that song lyrics could be displayed for most people who murder songs.
A girl sat beside me in church and was singing;
“I will sin unto the lord, a joyful song… I will raise his name.. For the lord is rude…”
I was wondering what she meant by “the lord is rude??”
She didn’t even care, she continued rather.
“10 glory father… 10 glory son… 10 glory holy ghost… now and forever more”
And I’m like “Wetin!!!”
As if that was not enough, she continued…
“Owerri to Calvary he went for me, he went for me…. He died to sell me free”
I wanted to shout, then she just dropped the final blast.
“Jehovah is your name, Jehovah is your name, 19 warriors, 8 in battle, Jehovah is your name.”
Your mum shouted at you for not cleaning the house and u said “Mami, leave me alone!”
Then your boyfriend scolded you for leaving him online and sleeping off, you begin to cry.
Please my sister, come forward
Come, Come, Come!
Don’t b afraid my sister
What is happening to u ehn, is not ordinary o
God has remembered u today
Oya raise your hand up ✋✋✋
Raise it up very well
Den bend it and place it on your head
Preferably where your mind tells you your brain is located.
Oya repeat after me;
My father! My father!! My father!!!
Wherever they have buried my sense and my brain,
In my maternal village
In my paternal village
In the coffin
Vomit it now!
Oya start shouting
Vomit now, vomit now, now, now, now, now!!!!!!
Shake your head while shouting o
A pastor announced, “If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left”.
All the men in the church moved to left except one man.
The pastor was happy there was at least one strong man, and asked, “How come your wife can’t control you?”
The man quietly replied, “it’s my wife who told me not to move”.
While in church a lady dozed off during the preaching. Suddenly, the lady snapped out of her slumber and what she heard from d pastor was “stand on your feet”, so she jumped to her feet.
She noticed that she was the only one standing. She also noticed the shock on the faces of the entire congregation looking at her including her husband and daughter.
The stares made her confused until the pastor stated, “One person is already up”, Sister God bless you.
Let me repeat myself for the benefit of those who did not hear me well, this is your last chance; If you are a witch, stand up on your feet for deliverance!!!
OMO SEE GOBE
Abi make sister siddon or continue to stand?
Please don’t copy this wayo man oh =D stay with family/friends and celebrate.
‘Passion of Christ’ movie will do as a plan for today 😉